Friday, February 1, 2013

Remy being five

Dear future teenager Remy,
On the night you were born the stars shone bright in the cold, crisp sky.  My contractions had started two days before, growing stronger and closer together, leading us on an adventure of false-alarm visits to the hospital and lots of walking to try to move you along.  I have come to discover that nothing can actually make you move any faster than you desire.  Your speed and direction are often difficult to corral.  You know your own mind kid.



Once I was actually admitted to the hospital, and the doctor broke my water, you let us know you were ready and made your appearance a short five hours later.  You slid into the world so easily compared to your big brother.  Thank you for that experience.  Your birth was the closest to the one I had imagined, most resembling my mental picture of how becoming a mother would be.




I remember that first night, settling in to get to know you.  The angel's kiss on your collar bone seemed so large & I worried about it following you through life.  Now your body is so big & it is just a faint whisper of a mark, reminding me of that sweet moment when we first met.  On your birthday morning this year we marked your height on the wall in the kitchen.  You grew 1-1/4 inches in just three months.  How is that possible?  It seems that each day you bring something new to the table, some new discovery that delights & amazes.  You are making your way in the world at top speed.  Slowed only occasionally by the asthma that strikes whenever you get a cold.


Most mornings you like to stumble out, sleepy-eyed and bed-headed, in search of a hug and a cuddle.  I love hearing your sweet "Good morning Mama" to start my day.  Eager to share the contents of your latest dream your words spill out before any of us can catch up.  I listen intently to your adventures with dinosaurs, Darth Vader and Power Rangers.  I hope you will always share your dreams with me.

Baby Remy... your little brother looks so much like you sometimes!

Your favorite food right now is chicken nuggets.  I try to make healthy ones at home, but you prefer the grocery store version, laden with unknown chemicals & mystery chicken parts.  You also love peanut butter with jelly & honey on wheat bread with the crusts cut off.  You like to eat your apples cut in half, "just like Daddy does."



After school you greet us with an enthusiasm usually reserved for Santa or a parade.  The words can not tumble out of you fast enough as you share details of our time apart.  Please don't forget this.  We always want to know what fills your days, your thoughts, your heart.



Sometimes you are shy.  It always takes me by surprise since it is contrary to who you are the rest of the time.  You will talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime.  I am both thrilled and terrified by that fact.



You are a good brother.  Sure you fight over space, time & toys, but you also make each other laugh like no one else.  You look out for both of your brothers, making sure Quinn doesn't run away or that the baby has his preferred toy.  I love hearing the sweet falsetto voice you use with the baby.  You are a good helper, even though you won't go near a diaper for any bribe on earth.




You are a good friend.  I always hear from your teachers and other parents how caring you are with your friends.  How you cheer them on, or are the first to offer a hug and encouraging word to someone who is upset.  I love seeing you through these eyes... a glimpse at how compassion and empathy carry you through your life apart from me.



I often stand back in wonder at how your mind works.  You remember details from months past and bring them back up in perfect context.  Your stream of constant questions crack me up.  "What does Darth Vader eat?", "Do fairies whistle?", "How do germs see where they are going?"  I usually don't have the answers, but love being by your side on the quest to find things out.



Today you are five years old.  You have waited "soooooo long" to be such a grown up age.



We both thought you simply might burst from excitement before reaching this special day, but here we are.



And here I am, so very proud to be your mom.
Happy Birthday my sweet boy!
Love,
Mama

3 comments:

AJ said...

I teared up reading that! You are such a wonderful mother and your boys are extremely lucky!

Anonymous said...

Holy cow, this made me cry... lucky boys...xoxox

Kate B. said...

What a beautiful way to honor Remy.