Sunday, May 13, 2012

Word to your Mama

Today we celebrate Mothers & all that they do, and yet, on the other 364 days Mother-hood & women's choices in general seem to be under continuous fire. The Time magazine cover this week (it shows a mom breastfeeding her three year old son) is the latest cheap shot. Although it certainly got the attention the publishers hoped for, I can't help but wonder what they were after with this cover. Yet another attempt at stirring the pot of mommy-guilt stew? Trying to ignite the latest controversy? There are plenty to choose from... stay-at-home vs working outside, attachment vs free-range, breast vs bottle, Duggar wannabe vs child-free by choice? The copy may as well read, "Pick your battle & prepare to pass judgement on all who differ from you."  Yawn.  Can't we all just get along?

I am currently faced with the possibility of working outside the home for the first time in nearly ten years.  We have our antiques business, which keeps me plenty busy, but in these tougher times buying beautiful things seems to be less of a priority for most people.  Go figure.  This new twist brings with it excitement, terror, dread... and a deep curiosity of whether or not I can still hack it in the "real" world.  Has my time in the mother-hood made me soft?  Or will I be even better at my job because of all that I do now?  I know my tolerance for most people is way deeper than it used to be.  Juggling ten things that don't involve wiping up food, urine or barf sounds pretty good about now.  But then again, I'd have to wear actual pants.  Even in my casual field I don't think wearing yoga pants every day would be acceptable.  Good Lord, I hope they make stretchy-slightly-fashionable-career-type clothes.  I know the 80's are back... oh wait, is that over already?  I sure wish the post-pregnancy-tired-mommy look would come into vogue.  Real-life Mom-chic.  Yeah, that would be cool.

But leaving this every day...


... oh my... that will be the hardest part.



I am so grateful for all the time I have had with my babies, but I worry about what I might miss if I have to go out to work every day. I am greedy. I want more. I want to be there every day. Every sporting event, school play and that random Tuesday when someone hurt their feelings. In the mornings when I walk Quinn into school I see boys age 10, 11, 12... and know that it isn't so far off.  That soon enough my boys will shoot up in height, arms & legs all a jangle as they slowly adjust to their new stature.  Their need for independence and space growing just as quickly & awkwardly.  I try to remember this most on days when they literally want to be on me all day.  When I can't turn around without tripping over their needs.  I try to remind myself that some of these needs are temporary... that the wave of independence will soon be cresting... knocking me down to a supporting role instead of my current leading lady status.

Modeling their outfits for Uncle Chris & Aunt Jenny's wedding...



Love this one...

Looks like he is practicing his "best man" speech...



Soren loves his thumb...

... and feet!

My goofiest little boy... love this kid!

Looking like a really big boy these days...


 It helps knowing that even when they are grown, even if I do end up having to go out to work, even if we disagree & struggle with new boundaries... I will still always be their Mama.





One of the only things I know for sure in this life is that I don't have all the answers. I do know what feels right... what works for me & my family. And I know that if, as a society, we could take more time talking about what unites us, about what we all really want (to raise happy, healthy, well-adjusted people) we sure could kick some ass.

6 comments:

Life with Kaishon said...

Your children are nothing short of perfect! I am sorry that you will have to leave them! I still get sad sometimes when I am not home in time for the bus and my son has to be home alone for an hour or two. I hope you enjoy your new job! Much love, Becky PS Happy Mother's Day!

Caroline said...

Beautifully said. As my mother-in-law says, "That's why there is chocolate and vanilla." When we learn to appreciate and even celebrate our differences for the stimulation and richness that comes from them, focus on the needs and interests we share, and support each others' desires and goals, we will truly "kick (some serious) ass."

gmacc said...

Oh Katie.....there will always be a job somewhere [contrary to what many may think].....but there will NOT always be babies....unless you're willing to wait about another 25 years ;-)

Love to you all, only 9 more weeks till we get to see you! ~ CC

larajanepark said...

You said it! It will be hard to leave them, but guess what? It's nice to be a grown up too. Have a reason to get dressed up and be beautiful every day, and doing what's best for your own family sometimes turns out to be doing what's best for YOU too. You never know if you don't try :)
Good luck to you Mama, you're one of the best, I can tell, and you'll know what's right- because you'll just know. The way Mama's know....it's built into us.

branditrench said...

Lovely! And exciting! And sad! You will alway be their leading lady. Of this I am quite sure. So much love to you!

Laura @ SpottyOwlDesign said...

It's so hard sometimes but like you say, you'll always be their Mama.


When i had our second baby, I was a SAHM and my partner worked long days 6, sometimes 7 days a week in the family business. I was with my baby 24/7 (we bed-shared) but it was her daddy who caught the first clap, first crawl, first steps. That helped me a lot when it was time for me to go back to work.

I wish you all the best xx